ellenscult: (decisions)
Thinking once there was a sea here But there never was a door )

The state of my inbox: nearly 90 e-mails.

Today's reading:
  • A Study in Doubles chapter 10 by Jupiter_Ash
  • Reflections by KSL
  • To Be a Man chapter 9 by closer
ellenscult: (car at my head)
A Man, A Plan, A Canal... )

The state of my inbox: 68 emails.

Today's reading:
ellenscult: (girl writing)
So, I wrote a couple of pieces of short fiction. One was a writing exercise for [livejournal.com profile] alasdair1076 (which has had several weeks of writing group critique and polishing); the other is a '30 minute drunken flashfic' (exactly what it says on the tin). Neither of these is fanfic. Hurrah! And they're both over at my [livejournal.com profile] the_proofreader account. If you're interested. Apart from that, I'm in Cornwall at WriteCamp '09 with friends, attempting to get my head back into my own fiction, and occasionally succeeding. It's nice to remember that I don't suck at this, that I have actually sold stories to paying markets, and of all the things I can do, I do this best.

Of course, it'd be nice to be able to sleep properly, too. But hey, can't have everything. If the worst comes to the very worst, I'm going to grab duvets and pillows and puppy pile with anyone too polite not to get out of my way.

On days like these, my 'not quite an entire person on my own' is showing (aka being a twin, aka having been in long-term relationships from the age of 16, aka being very close to Aspergic, aka having a brain that really, really doesn't need drugs in order to give me funky out-of-body experiences).

It occurs to me, after all these years, that I don't like beds. I've never liked beds. I like piles of cushions and blankets and duvets. I love hammocks. I hate beds with a passion, but they're easier to snuggle in.

I miss [livejournal.com profile] ravenlas. I'll sleep properly when I get home.
ellenscult: (not)
Dear Brain,

Since you keep forgetting, I wanted to remind you that I'm not a big fan of horror. Yes, I know I'm tired, but sending me scenes that appear to be straight out of horror films won't, in fact, make me want to sleep for longer. Yes, that room was freaky, but the guy was wearing a clean room suit, not a hazmat suit, and is the best you can do really to make ripped out plumbing still shower my head with cold water? And students selling alcoholic jam for a charity fundraising drive? ... Okay, actually, that I can believe.

Next time you want me to get more sleep, send me happy dreams of kittens. Or really good books. Or... well, you know the kind of things I like. Oh, wait, you sent me horror. Again. So apparently not. Read my fanfic! Send me happy romance dreams! Stop with the horror, already!

No love,
Me

Ps Thanks for that entire SG1 story, though. That was awesome.
Pps At least it wasn't zombies.

TEH ANGST!

Dec. 29th, 2008 09:35 pm
ellenscult: (car at my head)
In which I get a wee bit whiny... )

Gah!

Nov. 4th, 2008 06:26 am
ellenscult: (words are meaningless)
So it turns out that sleep is for... people who don't wake up at ten to two and then fail miserably to get back to sleep.

Today is going to be interesting. Just saying.*

Still intending on G.E.D. stuff, going to writing group this evening, etc.


*roughly translated, this means: if I'm grumpy - and you betcha I will be - it's not personal.
ellenscult: (words are meaningless)
Some of my tired is explained. I have cramps. Meh. I also have tea and a hot water bottle.

Weird dreams: Sunday night - horror - someone tapping at a window trying to get in (to do with my Shed World story, probably). This morning - more horror. In a comic book format. Lots of blues and greens, pen and ink drawings. Ginger Rodgers as a detective, wearing capri pants and a headscarf. She tracks a murderer to a graveyard, watches as he gives eyes (stolen from a victim, rather ripe by now) to a ghost, who pops them into her eyesockets and becomes solid enough for them to do the nasty for a bit. Then the eyeballs (ripe, remember) squish - cue close-up frame of ick spurting out of them (yes it's probably a bad sexual metaphor) - and the ghost becomes insubstantial once more.

You know, I don't think I'll ever need drugs when my brain gives me this shit for free.
ellenscult: (perfection)
I didn't post yesterday. I don't think anyone noticed, though. The reason I didn't post yesterday was because I did very little yesterday, and certainly nothing in the way of writing. Because I slept for 12 hours and dreamed of spies and having to sneak over the border into Canada to get someone who was half-way up a mountain and sneak back again, and the sneaking involved crossing a lake while the ice was melting, and there was also a scene in a supermarket. And then I got up and showered and sat on the sofa for 10 hours (well, I got up occasionally to make tea, and suchlike), and I read two or three Pseudopod submissions very slowly, and I watched the rest of Private Practise and the last 2 episodes of The Dresden Files and [livejournal.com profile] ravenlas brought me flowers and then I went to bed again. So that was yesterday. I was tired, and wobbly, and staving off Being Ill.

Since I'm posting from work today, you may assume that I have successfully staved off Being Ill, but I'm going to be taking this week a little easier, just to make sure. So today I got up, not having dreamed of spies, and showered and had breakfast and cycled up to Birch Park to pick up a parcel which is a miniature for [livejournal.com profile] ravenlas and cycled to the station and went to work. And I finished the first half of the restructuring of the last third of Squirrels, if that makes sense. Now I just have to plot out the Boss Fight, and I'll be good to start writing. Scrivener, I must say, is an absolute godsend. I'm shifting scenes around, marking their synopses with 'this bit to delete', blocking out new scenes, and all from the Outliner function, which allows me to see a list of scenes in each chapter, together with their synopses, their status (to do, first draft, etc), und so weiter. It's making this as close to painless as it can realistically come. Hurrah!

Exercise: 0 / 4.56.5 miles on the bike. Weight: 150 lbs.

Shinies!

Jun. 25th, 2007 10:45 am
ellenscult: (unbelievable)
Ooh, an odd dream again this morning, sadly interrupted by the alarmclock. I had heartbreak, so I took my money (I was an heiress *snork*) and put it into a goldmine. It wasn't ore, it was sand with flecks of gold in it. And I had the processing factory make it into cloth of gold and other pretty shiny things. Then Mum and Dad found out, and came to have a chat with me. So we ended up in a cafe in Paris.

Wtf?! *shrug* No idea where that one came from, or what it's about. It did involve a weird snap-together plastic handbag with a leather top panel for the zip surround...

I have made it into work, despite the rain! Alas, the trains are being cancelled at Sheffield thanks to flooding in Chesterfield, and so getting home may be a bit of a problem. I may have to find an alternative route, and I strongly suspect I'll be leaving some time after lunch, just in case they cancel trains coming south into Sheffield too. Ho hum, all good fun. How's your soggy Monday going?
ellenscult: (chomp)
I was absolutely knackered yesterday evening. Still, I got some proofreading done, and then I read some, erm, 9th Doctor/Rose/Captain Jack slash fic, which was very funny, and intended to get to bed around 10pm. Which slipped to almost 11pm... And then, being so tired, I kept on waking up, being disturbed by my SO - not his fault, it's what I do when I'm too tired. The other thing I do when I'm too tired is... dream of zombies. Why? *shrug* I dunno! But they scare the crap out of me in my dreams, and I have to wake myself up. This time, there were people turning into zombies outside, and I was driving somewhere with someone in the passenger seat. Who was turning into a zombie, but didn't seem too aware of it at the time. I was just sitting there, thinking, please don't turn and look at me and tear my face off. *sigh*

So I woke up very, very grumpy, and did my godzilla stomp around the house until it was time to leave for work. No [livejournal.com profile] o_faolain to do the crossword on the train with today (which always cheers me up), but I think it *might* be a setter I can do a few of. ;-) I got some writing done instead. And so far today - no work, but 600 words on a story about screwing an angel. Well, the office talk afterwards. *heh*

Other things to make me grump - my bag has knocked the dodgy connection on my sennheiser headphones enough that one side's not working any more. Feh. Have to shell out for some more. The only question - do I go for another pair of the same, which aren't in-ear, but keep my ears warm while I'm cycling, or do I go for a pair of in-ear headphones?

And: BT, having had my change-of-bank-account details, and sent me a letter saying 'that's fine', have now sent me a you-haven't-paid-this-bill bill. Fuckers. I shall be shouting at them shortly.

Edit: Headphones are under a 2 year warranty and will be replaced if I post them off tomorrow. Sennheiser do a longer warranty than most electrical appliances get! V. impressed. BT summarily dealt with. Some idiot had put the letter on the system, sent off an 'everything's okay' letter, and hadn't actually bothered putting the new direct debit details in. So, hit man has been dispatched. Today, I have a shit list, and numpty's on it.

Oh, and I went out this lunchtime in the beautiful sunshine, and then dived into the basement which is TK Maxx. On emerging, blinking, into said sunshine (late for work), I now have bras which fit, a top with faux-feathery bits round the neck, and a black zip-up cardigan. I'm not nearly so grumpy.
ellenscult: (nell gwyn)
Tuesday night: I must align my inner and outer dragons in order to cease this stream of strange dreams. I take this as a kick to get that sofa bed out of the bedroom and put the pile of spare sheets etc into the ottoman.

Wednesday night: something to do with dressmaking iirc, but it wasn't me...

Thursday night: secret bases and a mini-Balrog in the basement.

Friday night: cycling a long distance on rear-facing recumbent cycles (they just work, alright? but you have to watch out for bumping into things...) and then shopping in a really cool funky-stuff goth shop. I want to go shop there! And it seems I've dreamed that shop before - how cool!

Just the latest in a long line. I'm quite enjoying this! At least I'm not *too* overtired - that's when I start having the zombie dreams, and those just aren't fun.

With which - good night, y'all! Sweet dreams!

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