The Cult of Ellen

My plan to drag myself out from under my rock is going well (for a given value of well) - replied to comments on my last post, chatted with some of my extended family on WhatsApp, actually phoned my parents, and talked to my parents-in-law. Couldn't FaceTime with Al yesterday evening, but I was already in bed and dozing off, sorry!

I did get a fun-filled exciting trip to the vet on Friday - while I was outside very slowly gathering up the hedge clippings (still to finish, there's a lot of hedge and also a lot of rain), Dante nipped Planck's ear and put a hole in it that's taken a couple of stitches to close. This, the day after I'd paid off some of the existing bill... *sigh* The vet duly laughed at me when I mentioned it, and agreed it'd be a good idea if I took a course to learn to suture. Think the St John's Ambulance lot do one, or should I just rewatch Grey's Anatomy and ER?

DH's first week in his new job went well; there's a lot to learn and a lot to catch up on, of course, but he's great at picking things up and I have faith he'll get there.

This week my plan is to get some writing done, a bit of gardening (by which I mean pick up the hedge clippings and the dog poo, cut the grass if it stops raining for long enough, and burn the weeds with a propane blowtorch without burning down the barn or any more of the hedge), and keep up with the housework. I also have the first of 6 sessions of counselling at my GPs tomorrow afternoon - I need to talk things out and there's a promise of maybe some CBT to help my anxiety, depression and chronic pain, which isn't that painful, but it is chronic, thanks to my ME. This autumn marks 14 years since I had glandular fever, which triggered the ME. I don't know whether to feel down about not being able to do anything like the level of activity I used to, or to feel good that I managed to do so much for so long - a decline in my health (other than normal aging) is very much not inevitable, but I've not had the energy, enthusiasm, time, money, etc, to do much in the way of exercise over the last few years. It's really hard not to simply hide under my duvet when DH is having a bad day and I can't actually afford to buy groceries.

Living out here is beautiful and quiet; there's space and I have dogs who keep me smiling. It's also very isolating, especially when I can't face picking up the phone to call anyone, and I can't face even opening my email. I've done a lot of knitting and that's done a lot to keep me going. And this is all very depressing for a Monday morning, which wasn't my intention at all, but it seems that now I'm posting on here again, a lot of stuff is getting dredged up. Eh. Time for a cuppa and Popmaster on Radio 2, then writing, then hoovering the house, and that'll carry me through to lunchtime, so that'll do for now. Have a great week, y'all, I'll likely feel better in the afternoon.

( Blink. Blink. Yawn. )

State of my inbox: around 80 e-mails.

Today's reading:

• Not Allowed To Eat by PrincessPatrice. NCIS
• And I'd Buy A Big House Where We Both Could Live Ch25, by Shinkonokokoro. Avengers
• The Traveler's Heart by ?. Harry Potter
• Until She Shines, by Verity. SGA
• To Be A Man Ch4, by Cernicalo. The Sentinel