The Cult of Ellen

Another update, you say? Whaaat? Yeah, I know, I think my brain chemistry is doing a lot better - still some anxiety, but the clinical depression is a lot lighter at the moment, hurrah. ME/CFS is still kicking my tuchus, but that's not surprising. (Although my dad says his physio overcame ME with a combination of meditation, diet and exercise, which good for him but I don't see that fixing me all the way given that my diet is adjusted already, I get as much exercise as I can without collapsing - I hoovered downstairs today, worked 3 hours in the charity shop and did a bit of shopping in Tesco - and I do some meditation and mindfulness gubbins and it all helps but only so far. I suspect somewhere deep in my dad's brain he thinks if I just pulled myself together, I could shake this off. After 14.5 years. But I digress...)

I hope you've all had a lovely Easter/Passover break, even with spring being such a tease. I'm here! Ah ha! Snow! Got you! I had a lovely day out with my friend Grace (from the charity shop and knit & natter at the library) and unsurprisingly we went in search of yarn shops. We found Specials (eh, okay, lovely layout but all variations on acrylic) and Parlour Yarns (awesome, must visit again as soon as possible with lots of cash, and oh, btw, did I mention they do things like dyeing classes) in a very wet and windy Carrickfergus, had a late lunch in Larne, and finished up with the Factory Craft Shop and The Range in Ballymena. I bought 1 ball of sock yarn from Parlour Yarns (West Yorkshire Spinners, heh) with which to knit socks for Grace.

I have been busy! Yes! I know! I've been working on converting some Elizabethan blackwork (from the cuff of a shift in a portrait of Elizabeth I, gorgeous stuff, have embroidered before, works very well) into a double-knitting pattern. In two different forms. And I have charts! I'm half-way through knitting cowl #1
(in a merino/silk 3-ply sock yarn) and it looks lovely. Once I get it finished I can get on with cowl #2 which is more complicated and in lace-weight yarn so yeah, going to take a lot longer. I even have ideas lined up for my next patterns, so go me! Thanks, brain! *brain high-five* And I'm on the verge of feedback from my test knitter in Canada for my Rio cabled scarf, so I'm hoping I can pop that pattern up for sale on Ravelry sometime soon. Which would be good because, yanno, no income and I'm about out of credit card space to buy groceries and dog food on.

I have phone socks up on eBay for sale and no joy there yet, meh. I'll have to knit some TARDIS ones and see if they sell. Maybe I should start an Etsy store instead of going to eBay - what do you think? I have no idea.

No joy with jobs on PeoplePerHour yet, but I live in hope. I'm determined that at some point this month I will earn a pittance. I'm working hard for that pittance, dammit!

As for the cheery mood, that'd be because my beloved Penguins are in the Stanley Cup playoffs for the 12th year in a row, and playoffs start tonight. Woohoo! First round this year is against the Flyers (and we say f!ck the Flyers! Bunch of bloody goons who should be banned!) and the Pens won all their games this season so I'm backing them to win the series in 5 games (it's best of 7 games; 4 such rounds to win the Cup, after an 82-game regular season in which only 16 of 31 teams make it to the playoffs, toughest cup to win in sports by far, given it's a full-contact sport played at a sprint on ice by men wearing boots with knives on the bottom and armed with a big stick, wtf, who thought this was a good idea!!?!) - and then on... At some point, they'll probably face either the Tampa Bay Lightning (beat them a couple of years ago iirc) or the Boston Bruins (really bloody good this year), so it's going to be a struggle. Putting it in context, they've won the Stanley Cup 2 years running, something which hadn't been done in nearly 20 years. If they win this year, it'll be 30 years since the last 3peat. So. Not easy.

Pups are fine - Dante has a bit of an ear infection (again), so I've picked up drops for him and he'll be fine in a few days. Newton is currently burrito-like in his blankies, watching whatever DVD DH has shoved on the telly and Max is full of biscuits with chicken broth, so he's getting ready for his evening snooze. DH is still job-hunting; we've stopped having a fire in the range and I've actually had washing out on the line for the first time this year. My car has new tyres, even though I (probably me, maybe a garage) lost the wheel locking nut key, and 4 new wheel nuts. Thank you, mum! (The bed jacket I'm knitting for her with merino and merino/silk yarn is coming along nicely.)

And I think that's about it. So have a great week and I'll attempt to update within the next 6 months.

After talking with my counsellor on Tuesday, I popped into the Antrim Forum to see what classes they had, and on Wednesday morning I went to Pilates for the first time ever. Ahahahaha! It is brutal! In a very non-brutal way, but today my everything aches. When I think about all the sword fighting, glima, rock climbing, cycling, swimming etc I've done and how very unfit and unbendy I am now, the comparison makes me feel, well, unfit and unbendy. Gah! So yeah, I'll go back next week, provided I'm not a) dead or dismembered or b) having a bad ME day. Fingers crossed, eh?

I'm feeling quite chipper at the moment: financially, things aren't entirely dire (hurrah); DH is coming up on the end of week 11 of his new job (but eye surgery next week, eep); I haven't had to take Planck to the vets for a few weeks (but I need to get him another hip x-ray, his bad hip is getting worse); the other dogs are fit and well (touch wood); family is all okay (to the best of my knowledge, and my nephew starts school a week on Friday, wow); I've even hoovered the house. Well, downstairs, and I hoovered upstairs at the end of last week, so it's still okay for now.

So yeah, no major disasters! Have some crafty photos instead:

( Photos )

Also a book recommendation, also from my wonderful counsellor: Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young, PhD., and Janet S. Klosko, PhD. So yeah, I'll be getting that. Oh, and I read Neurotribes by Steve Silberman, which is a fantastic read - hugely informative, sometimes difficult, sometimes hugely entertaining, but always very thought-provoking. I think my favourite bit, for reasons which will be blatantly obvious to anyone who knows me personally and to anyone who's read anything else at all in this blog, is this, about the expanded criteria for diagnosis:

A nonspeaking boy of six who rocked in a corner all day would fit the bill, as would a woman in her late twenties who reflexively averted her eyes when speaking and calmed herself while knitting while inwardly fancying herself the real-life equivalent of Sarah Jane Smith on Doctor Who.

Replace 'late twenties' with 'early forties', and 'Sarah Jane Smith' with 'Ace', and yeah, that's absolutely me! It made me giggle.

So yeah, that's me this week. I'm going to go back to crocheting another cute cat (making a good start on those family Christmas presents) and wait for the washing machine repairman (repairperson? probably a bloke, though) to turn up (13:00-15:00 allegedly). Have yourselves a great week and welcome to September!

New things come up and I retreat back into silence and a few bottles of wine, curling up like a curly thing. DH needs rather urgent eye surgery - stressful and scary stuff. He'll be having it done on the 8th of September iirc, and we don't know if this will be covered by Optical Express or if we'll have to pay for it. Erm.... So anyway, that reaction isn't helpful at all. I've ditched the wine and am trying meditation instead (better for my liver, waistline, head and bank account, duh). I've started up my ME diary again, keeping track of what I do and what I eat, my mood and energy levels, etc, which keeps me more aware of how I'm doing, too.

palmersperry is visiting for a few days; we've been round IKEA and have taken the dogs out to Tardree Forest for a (slow) walk. Later today we're off to see HMS Caroline in Belfast, and weather permitting, we'll be off to the Giants Causeway, the Glens of Antrim and Slemish over the next few days. Today I'm a bit tired and slow, though - trying to get my brain into gear and it's just not quite happening, eh. *shrug*

Hmm... Let's see, DH is at the end of week 9 of his 3-month probationary period in his new job; the dogs are doing fine; I caught up on my laundry the couple of sunny days we had, and I've cleaned out the parlour some (always more to do). I'm making time for meditation, writing and Duolinguo (Italian). I'm working on uncurling and staying out from under that rock. Oh, and I have a sneaky ninja slug in my kitchen (I think it's migrated out into the living room overnight) - I keep following the trail and then the trail vanishes and there's still no sign of the bloody thing. Gah!

Right, time for a cuppa, then a pootle down to Belfast.

Success!!!



The ludicrously long skein, conquered after a mighty battle. And Newton, wrapped in blankies and ready for bed, as am I. G'night, all.

I have, at long last, posted off some Christmas presents. Woohoo! It makes me realise just how behind I am, though, so I'm procrastinating here on my day bed, with Newton dozing under a blanket beside me and Dante twitching in the dog bed in front. Do I fish out the sewing machine and run up silk bags for making lavender sachets for my mum (first promised for her birthday in September), or do I trawl through my yarn stash in search of something decent to make my brother-in-law a hat and scarf, since I not only owe him a Christmas present, but it's also his 40th birthday this weekend? Should I have another go at turning empty wine bottles into glasses, or make bath bombs? Gah! Too many decisions!

I did, however, order some more coal*, since we're down to our last bag, worked my way through more of the laundry pile, and cleaned the parlour fireplace.

( As promised, a photo: )

Writing has been pretty nonexistent. Even with a prompt and a deadline from my dad I stare at the page, at the screen, then go do something else. Perhaps it's time to dig out my old iPod and fire up some Rammstein. For some reason, they make truly awesome writing music! Bach's better for editing, though, go figure. *shrug* I have kept to my resolutions thus far apart from that, though, and haven't had any wine this year. I'm also just over 1kg lighter. There may be some correlation, but around half of that is probably just normal cycle weight fluctuation. Still, it's going in the right direction so I shan't complain. Now if only my bank balance would do the same, it'd be a truly awesome start to the year...

Tomorrow's jobs for tackling: sewing, putting up a couple of coat racks on the side of one of the bookcases for hanging shoes up.

*Since I paid for the coal with the money my parents-in-law gave me for Christmas, I guess I can truly say I got coal for Christmas - must have been on the naughty list!

I got almost 6 hours of unbroken sleep last night, more than I've had in a while. Slow start after everything yesterday, so of course we decided to go back to IKEA and get another one of those dog day beds. Hence more driving, lifting heavy boxes, picking up a carry out from the Chinese Court in Antrim, a bit of a row, flatpack-fu, furniture rearranging, general tidying and lots more hoovering and now I am stretched out on my day bed with Newton dozing beside me, Dante asleep on the floor on the other side of me, and there's the sound of snoring coming from the other room. I could just doze off myself, but if I do that I'll wake up in a bit and not get to sleep tonight, meh.

I have another fox cowl to finish, and Absolute 80s radio playing in the background, so I reckon that'll do me for the rest of the evening.

( Another photo )

Writing done: a very little, but at least it's some. Wine drunk: none, hurrah!

Tomorrow I shall do some tidying and some writing and generally take things easy - I'm overdue a reaction day and as I'm overtired right now I think tomorrow's it, oh well.

Not much to say these days, but our oldest pup, Planck, goes for his first hip replacement operation next week in Belfast. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for his recovery, but I've also got some dog food designed to help with joint problems, and this evening I'm watching the film about the Bielski brothers. Thanks to ME I have some facial myalgia at the mo, which is rather painful, but we got to see friends this week and next week Mr Marcks is visiting, yay.

I spent the afternoon with a friend, having taken Planck to visit his best buddy, Duke (her boxer dog). We had a good natter and exchanged tips on apps, so have the results of that after the cut:

( Brushstrokes app )

Yeah, so, a day... Got up early(ish), with my alarm, which is a win. Fished out my lady epilator torture device and attempted to deforest my legs; one leg and a stripe later, it ran out of power, so the rest of the deforesting will have to wait for tomorrow morning. Showered, dressed, sorted out the pups with breakfast, medicine and munchies, and their daily unspeakables (eggs - great for their coats and energy levels, but unspeakable because they make Jerry want to vomit).

Anyway, so, it's been a day of doing chores; laundry (folding and putting away and washing and hanging up to dry), yard pickup (yech), shopping (Lidl and Asda, and putting away, which involved cleaning the fridge that's in the barn), cooking (for us and for the dogs), dishes (well, stacking, running and unstacking the dishwasher twice - can't really call it doing the dishes if I only handwashed the cast iron skillet and gave a casserole dish a scrub over to get the last trace of bits out that the dishwasher missed). I boiled up the bones from a chicken we had over the weekend, and the last of the meat, the bones and the stock went into the dogs' dinners. I peeled and chopped and fished out my food processor and the end result was a pan of roast veg (I forgot to put in garlic! And I got more garlic specially! Bummer!) and a large bowl of coleslaw. Jerry cooked up the steak I picked up reduced at Asda. Much to the pups' disgust, we ate it all! Well, the meat, anyway. They had bread and dripping. Nom nom!

So, yeah, a day of doing stuff. I'm still keeping up with my language practise, but the Italian is onto possessives and I found it really hard - bit of brain fade, I think. On to bed and much sleeping and an easy day tomorrow, in which I'm hoping I'll get chance to play around with Paper and do some more illustrations for Where's My Tractor. Sleep well, y'all!

Yesterday's day of tiredness seems to have given way to general tiredness from not getting to sleep until 3am (better than the start of the week, hurrah!) and being woken up by a phone call from the Jobs and Benefits Centre. A very nice lady put up with my morning lack of brain and explained there's been an overpayment of Income Support, which she's trying to sort out so I'll know just how much I have to pay back either in a lump sum (ha!) or with a deduction from my IS (it'll be option 2, thanks). So we'll have even less coming in, but hey, it's spring officially and my father-in-law's vegetable patch is open for raiding by me (I usually give it a good weed while I'm pulling a couple of spring onions or a lettuce, or whatever). I'd set the dogs to catching their own dinner, but I'm afraid they'd ignore the rabbits (there's mixamatosis in the population, sadly) in favour of nearby sheep, chicken and cows. Doh!

After that early start (I'm working my way back to getting up by 7am, honestly!), my day was brightened by hearing Warren Zevron's Werewolves of London on the radio as I grabbed a shower - gave me the impetus to wrap up my nephew's birthday presents, then head out on my loop of many errands. Planck's dog license is renewed; I've paid the vet's bill and picked up more Loxicom and spoken to John the Awesome Vet about getting Planck his hip replacement surgery; got coal from the general merchant's; posted Dan's parcel; called by the bank; got the rest of the food shopping from Poundstretcher (dog munchies) and Tesco (gluten-free and dairy-free me munchies) and even picked up some free low-fat fries from Burger King for Jerry (today only, apparently, if your local BK's one of the franchises doing them).

The shopping is all away, the dogs have their stuffed bones (Newton's finished licking out his and is sitting behind me on my chair, watching the garden through the window to make sure nothing needs barking at), Jerry's had his fries and I've had a cuppa. That's probably me done for the rest of the day, but it's always possible I might actually get a little fiction writing done, woohoo! Or I could go look into how to turn Where's My Tractor into an e-book so I can email that to my sister. Or I could finish off that last winter-weight cowl for Uncle Ken and start on the summer lace-weight silk/wool mix cowls for the family...

Gosh, the possibilites are endless! Or something. Yes, well, I think I'd better quit while I'm ahead, don't you? Have a fantastic weekend, peeps.

( Newton and selfie... )