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Further on and further up
Jun. 24th, 2016 12:53 pmIt's been quite a while since I last posted on my livejournal, at least something that isn't just an automatic 'my tweets' entry. There are reasons for that, and it's some of them I'm burbling on about today, complete with (entirely justified imo) bad language.
Six and a half years ago, a concerted effort between three or four people bullied my husband into a mental breakdown. They made his life unbearable and I still can't understand how people can be so damn malicious and spiteful for no goddamn reason at all as to try to destroy someone's career, their sanity, their life. I still don't know how they can live with themselves for what they did and what they tried to do. They went so far as to get the police involved (using masonic connections, and yes, several police officers were reprimanded for their actions) to get my husband arrested and dragged all the way to trial at the Crown Court. At that point, the case was dismissed because there was no evidence - those ex-colleagues had falsified the evidence and it was apparent that the police and the CPS knew it. The judge ordered an inquiry into just what the hell the CPS had been doing bringing the case in the first place. The detective who had indulged in witness coaching was, unfortunately, not brought to task, and those involved in a concerted attempt to pervert the course of justice have never had to face the consequences of their actions.
Pretty fucking serious stuff.
These people - as far as I'm concerned - set out to murder my husband and absolutely nothing has happened to them. And they came really bloody close to succeeding. Were it not for the support of friends, family and the emergency mental health services in York and Northern Ireland, I have no doubt whatsoever I'd be widowed by now.
So these last six and a half years have been rough. DH (dear husband) has been unable to work, and around 4 years ago I had to leave my job (they were awesome, letting me switch to working from home and supporting me through my own ill-health) because I couldn't sustain working full-time with also being a full-time carer.
Why bring this up now?
Well, this week DH started work. Full-time, a good job in a software company. I'm so happy for him and so proud of him. I hope it works out, but if it doesn't, he'll be able to look for another job without the last six and a half years being a huge weight dragging at him. And I wanted to be able to talk about things on my LJ again without the crippling fear that I've been living with dictating what I can and can't talk about, to the point where I can't talk at all, about anything. Fear for DH, for his stability, fear that something I say on here will spark off another round of persecution by those fuckers, that they will find some way - legal or more likely totally illegal - to wreck his life again. But hey, guess what? The statute of limitations on the crap they made up about my husband is 6 years, so they can't go back to the police (who conspicuously washed their hands of any contact with the company and those individuals anyway) and DH has a job so they can't undermine his job-seeking attempts and get him blacklisted with a bunch of bullshit lies. It's too late. They've lost, comprehensively. He's alive and he's doing well. Fuck you, you amoral bunch of bastards. I hope you never sleep well again, you fuckers. I wish you nothing but harm.
Actually, no. I hope this bothers you. I hope you can look back on your actions and see just what it is you tried to do, and I hope it bothers your conscience for the rest of your days. But I hope you've learned from what you did. I hope you've become better people, even though I very much doubt you ever will. I hope you've learned some morality, grown some compassion, learned how to live a decent, honest, ethical life. Probably not, but that's what I want for you. And all my desperate fantasies of some kind of (bloody, violent, emotional) revenge will stay just that - fantasies. Because despite everything you've done, everything you've stolen from my husband, from us, from me, I will never sink to your level. I don't have it in me. And despite everything that you've done, everything that's happened, I know that there are things that you just do not do. Ever. To anyone.
So fuck you, you execrable excuses for human beings, I'm putting you behind me. I'm reclaiming my life, just as DH has spent the last six and a half years fighting to do. I'm reclaiming my words. I'm reclaiming my blog. And some day I hope I can forget what it's like to live in the shadow of monsters, but until then I'll be here and every word I write will be the best fuck you I can imagine.
Six and a half years ago, a concerted effort between three or four people bullied my husband into a mental breakdown. They made his life unbearable and I still can't understand how people can be so damn malicious and spiteful for no goddamn reason at all as to try to destroy someone's career, their sanity, their life. I still don't know how they can live with themselves for what they did and what they tried to do. They went so far as to get the police involved (using masonic connections, and yes, several police officers were reprimanded for their actions) to get my husband arrested and dragged all the way to trial at the Crown Court. At that point, the case was dismissed because there was no evidence - those ex-colleagues had falsified the evidence and it was apparent that the police and the CPS knew it. The judge ordered an inquiry into just what the hell the CPS had been doing bringing the case in the first place. The detective who had indulged in witness coaching was, unfortunately, not brought to task, and those involved in a concerted attempt to pervert the course of justice have never had to face the consequences of their actions.
Pretty fucking serious stuff.
These people - as far as I'm concerned - set out to murder my husband and absolutely nothing has happened to them. And they came really bloody close to succeeding. Were it not for the support of friends, family and the emergency mental health services in York and Northern Ireland, I have no doubt whatsoever I'd be widowed by now.
So these last six and a half years have been rough. DH (dear husband) has been unable to work, and around 4 years ago I had to leave my job (they were awesome, letting me switch to working from home and supporting me through my own ill-health) because I couldn't sustain working full-time with also being a full-time carer.
Why bring this up now?
Well, this week DH started work. Full-time, a good job in a software company. I'm so happy for him and so proud of him. I hope it works out, but if it doesn't, he'll be able to look for another job without the last six and a half years being a huge weight dragging at him. And I wanted to be able to talk about things on my LJ again without the crippling fear that I've been living with dictating what I can and can't talk about, to the point where I can't talk at all, about anything. Fear for DH, for his stability, fear that something I say on here will spark off another round of persecution by those fuckers, that they will find some way - legal or more likely totally illegal - to wreck his life again. But hey, guess what? The statute of limitations on the crap they made up about my husband is 6 years, so they can't go back to the police (who conspicuously washed their hands of any contact with the company and those individuals anyway) and DH has a job so they can't undermine his job-seeking attempts and get him blacklisted with a bunch of bullshit lies. It's too late. They've lost, comprehensively. He's alive and he's doing well. Fuck you, you amoral bunch of bastards. I hope you never sleep well again, you fuckers. I wish you nothing but harm.
Actually, no. I hope this bothers you. I hope you can look back on your actions and see just what it is you tried to do, and I hope it bothers your conscience for the rest of your days. But I hope you've learned from what you did. I hope you've become better people, even though I very much doubt you ever will. I hope you've learned some morality, grown some compassion, learned how to live a decent, honest, ethical life. Probably not, but that's what I want for you. And all my desperate fantasies of some kind of (bloody, violent, emotional) revenge will stay just that - fantasies. Because despite everything you've done, everything you've stolen from my husband, from us, from me, I will never sink to your level. I don't have it in me. And despite everything that you've done, everything that's happened, I know that there are things that you just do not do. Ever. To anyone.
So fuck you, you execrable excuses for human beings, I'm putting you behind me. I'm reclaiming my life, just as DH has spent the last six and a half years fighting to do. I'm reclaiming my words. I'm reclaiming my blog. And some day I hope I can forget what it's like to live in the shadow of monsters, but until then I'll be here and every word I write will be the best fuck you I can imagine.
