ellenscult: (perky)
After talking with my counsellor on Tuesday, I popped into the Antrim Forum to see what classes they had, and on Wednesday morning I went to Pilates for the first time ever. Ahahahaha! It is brutal! In a very non-brutal way, but today my everything aches. When I think about all the sword fighting, glima, rock climbing, cycling, swimming etc I've done and how very unfit and unbendy I am now, the comparison makes me feel, well, unfit and unbendy. Gah! So yeah, I'll go back next week, provided I'm not a) dead or dismembered or b) having a bad ME day. Fingers crossed, eh?

I'm feeling quite chipper at the moment: financially, things aren't entirely dire (hurrah); DH is coming up on the end of week 11 of his new job (but eye surgery next week, eep); I haven't had to take Planck to the vets for a few weeks (but I need to get him another hip x-ray, his bad hip is getting worse); the other dogs are fit and well (touch wood); family is all okay (to the best of my knowledge, and my nephew starts school a week on Friday, wow); I've even hoovered the house. Well, downstairs, and I hoovered upstairs at the end of last week, so it's still okay for now.

So yeah, no major disasters! Have some crafty photos instead:

Photos )

Also a book recommendation, also from my wonderful counsellor: Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young, PhD., and Janet S. Klosko, PhD. So yeah, I'll be getting that. Oh, and I read Neurotribes by Steve Silberman, which is a fantastic read - hugely informative, sometimes difficult, sometimes hugely entertaining, but always very thought-provoking. I think my favourite bit, for reasons which will be blatantly obvious to anyone who knows me personally and to anyone who's read anything else at all in this blog, is this, about the expanded criteria for diagnosis:

A nonspeaking boy of six who rocked in a corner all day would fit the bill, as would a woman in her late twenties who reflexively averted her eyes when speaking and calmed herself while knitting while inwardly fancying herself the real-life equivalent of Sarah Jane Smith on Doctor Who.

Replace 'late twenties' with 'early forties', and 'Sarah Jane Smith' with 'Ace', and yeah, that's absolutely me! It made me giggle.

So yeah, that's me this week. I'm going to go back to crocheting another cute cat (making a good start on those family Christmas presents) and wait for the washing machine repairman (repairperson? probably a bloke, though) to turn up (13:00-15:00 allegedly). Have yourselves a great week and welcome to September!
ellenscult: (boats)
My plan to drag myself out from under my rock is going well (for a given value of well) - replied to comments on my last post, chatted with some of my extended family on WhatsApp, actually phoned my parents, and talked to my parents-in-law. Couldn't FaceTime with Al yesterday evening, but I was already in bed and dozing off, sorry!

I did get a fun-filled exciting trip to the vet on Friday - while I was outside very slowly gathering up the hedge clippings (still to finish, there's a lot of hedge and also a lot of rain), Dante nipped Planck's ear and put a hole in it that's taken a couple of stitches to close. This, the day after I'd paid off some of the existing bill... *sigh* The vet duly laughed at me when I mentioned it, and agreed it'd be a good idea if I took a course to learn to suture. Think the St John's Ambulance lot do one, or should I just rewatch Grey's Anatomy and ER?

DH's first week in his new job went well; there's a lot to learn and a lot to catch up on, of course, but he's great at picking things up and I have faith he'll get there.

This week my plan is to get some writing done, a bit of gardening (by which I mean pick up the hedge clippings and the dog poo, cut the grass if it stops raining for long enough, and burn the weeds with a propane blowtorch without burning down the barn or any more of the hedge), and keep up with the housework. I also have the first of 6 sessions of counselling at my GPs tomorrow afternoon - I need to talk things out and there's a promise of maybe some CBT to help my anxiety, depression and chronic pain, which isn't that painful, but it is chronic, thanks to my ME. This autumn marks 14 years since I had glandular fever, which triggered the ME. I don't know whether to feel down about not being able to do anything like the level of activity I used to, or to feel good that I managed to do so much for so long - a decline in my health (other than normal aging) is very much not inevitable, but I've not had the energy, enthusiasm, time, money, etc, to do much in the way of exercise over the last few years. It's really hard not to simply hide under my duvet when DH is having a bad day and I can't actually afford to buy groceries.

Living out here is beautiful and quiet; there's space and I have dogs who keep me smiling. It's also very isolating, especially when I can't face picking up the phone to call anyone, and I can't face even opening my email. I've done a lot of knitting and that's done a lot to keep me going. And this is all very depressing for a Monday morning, which wasn't my intention at all, but it seems that now I'm posting on here again, a lot of stuff is getting dredged up. Eh. Time for a cuppa and Popmaster on Radio 2, then writing, then hoovering the house, and that'll carry me through to lunchtime, so that'll do for now. Have a great week, y'all, I'll likely feel better in the afternoon.
ellenscult: (comesee)
in the wrong house, in the wrong ascendancy... )

The state of my inbox: under sixty-five e-mails!

Today's reading:
ellenscult: (Kipper)
This are yet another 'Aten't Ded Yet!' post, brought to you from my busybusy workdesk... *grin* From which you may surmise that I'm skiving and really should get back to doing some work.

The CFS/ME, life, work, yada yada stuff: )

Right! I probably had a bunch of other things to blog about... Birthdays!

Many happy returns of the day to [livejournal.com profile] evieb, [livejournal.com profile] gaxx and Miss India!



Mazel Tov to [livejournal.com profile] vin_petrol, [livejournal.com profile] trash_petrol and [livejournal.com profile] evie_petrol on the latest addition to their family!



Plugs:
Hub - Europe's largest weekly SF, F & Horror ezine. Fiction! Articles! Free!
Pseudopod - the world's largest horror podcast. Also free!
Kiva Loans - changing the world one loan at a time.
ellenscult: (bunk)
Weekend update, CFS bites, fanfic... )
ellenscult: (car at my head)
!!!! )
ellenscult: (boats)
Wii Fit age: back up to 37, then 36 over the last couple of days. I have unlocked the boxing and snowboarding games. Hurrah! And today I was down ever-so-slightly in weight. So that's good.

My bike - which wot was in for a major service at Decathlon in Sheffield, is, alas, no more. The bottom bracket was utterly seized and they couldn't get it out even with the new tool they bought to try to shift it. And so - given that I'd had it for 3 or 4 years - they replaced it. With a new bike of (pretty much) the same make. Which came with a set of lights and a bell and a free 3-month service and a stern lecture on bike maintenance.

What stars!

I spent my lunchbreak adjusting the seat and handlebars and fitting a front mudguard and rear pannier rack, and I brought it back up to York on the train this teatime and rode it home. It is white and shiny and I will do my best to take photos tomorrow.

I'm getting a little more sleep and a little more exercise, and that seems to be off-setting the extra bit of tired from eating wheat again, although my stomach's getting rather sore. Still, nothing that a one-a-day Pepcid Complete (from the States) isn't keeping under control. Ho hum. And now for that bit of extra sleep...
ellenscult: (dressmaking)
For those of you who feel you lack enough angst in your life, this is superb. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] alasdair1076 for passing the link along!

Another link: [livejournal.com profile] o_faolain points out something rather important for those of you who enjoy listening to live music. If you don't want to see live music disappear, go and read, then follow his link to sign the petition.

Weekend update... )

Right, enough of this lj malarkey! It's time to force-quite WinZip Pro and try again to update that pesky zip archive for work...

Oh, but before I go, I have started a new knitting project - a cashmere lace shawl... More about that later. *beam*
ellenscult: (Queen of France)

Happy Jesus Year, [livejournal.com profile] ravenlas! Happy Birthday, Kate! Belated happies to [livejournal.com profile] thirstypixel!



Running at 38rpm; the weekend; a fanvid. )
ellenscult: (glima)
When [livejournal.com profile] gothgrr came round on Wednesday, she happened to mention the Boxercise class at St. John's.

So this evening (after a fab day with [livejournal.com profile] rhube watching Short Circuit, Batteries Not Included, Flight of the Navigator and Tongan Ninja), I dragged my saggy behind off the sofa and went to Boxercise, along with [livejournal.com profile] alasdair1076 and Kate. It's rather hard work, but I very much enjoyed the boxing stuff. Hugely. Mwa ha haaa!

Alas, I appear to have left a lung out in the car park somewhere. I'm sure I'll stop coughing before I go to bed... Mind you, cycling in to the station tomorrow is not going to be so much fun, I very strongly suspect. Ho hum, never mind! I'll be going back next week, I reckon, and maybe I'll be a teensy bit fitter (and have stopped coughing).

G.E.D. month... Not so much. I started knitting that bath mat (from strips of t-shirts). And that story I'm putting up over on [livejournal.com profile] the_proofreader has hit 13.5k. So another 500 words and that'll be an average of 2,000 words a day for the last week. Hurrah! And it Doesn't Suck! Even better! :)

Anything else? Well, the living room is pretty tidy. Well, for my living room. So that counts, I think. And tomorrow the car goes in for its MOT, and... um... that's about it, I think.

Have a great week, y'all.
ellenscult: (hiding the pain)
Back to slightly more intermittent posting. Today: bye-bye booze; exercise; housework; knitting; writing. The usual routine. )

Did anyone else see the superb sunset yesterday? I was driving back from my parents' house, and it kept distracting me. Incredibly beautiful.
ellenscult: (balls)
So the month is almost over. My aim was to finish editing Squirrels in Space. Have I done it? Nope. Bah. But I've got a lot further with Shed World and made some writing contacts, and despite the tiredness, I haven't had complete brain fade, which is nice. I've also written a dark piece of fanfic, which has (I think) very effective misdirection in it while also sticking to plausible characterisation. So that's good. :) And I have tomorrow off work, so I may get more done.

Speaking of which - Shana Tova! I wish you all a happy and sweet 5769. May it bring you all health and prosperity and joy.

Health stuff and the weekend: )

The stats:

Exercise: 13.5 miles on the bike with .5kg weights on my ankles (don't ask) (8.5 miles today). Weight: 154-153 lbs. Alcohol: 2 bottles of wine.

Squirrels in Space edits: chapters - 2 of 10 fully edited; 4 of 10 rearranged, replotted, with complete synopsis and scene-by-scene breakdown of the new bits I have to write.

Shed World: 1 story abandoned at 2,500 words, rewritten from another POV to 2,600 words so far.

Fanfic: Desperate Measures, over on my [livejournal.com profile] the_proofreader lj, at 3,600 words, iirc. Part 2 to come some time later.
ellenscult: (sleek)
I love South Park... Bad! And! Wrong!

*ahem*

Yesterday? No post. Yesterday was a bust. I got up late, sat on the sofa, read Firefly slashfic as the only thing which could hold my attention, and was in bed by 10. Which has nothing to do with the Firefly slashfic. No, really.

And today I made it back into work. Hurrah! Also, another 700 ish words on Shed World. Which should be finished by this evening. But, yanno, brain freeze. Ho hum, and all that.

So.

Weight: 151 lbs. Exercise: 4 miles on the bike (nothing yesterday). Alcohol: 0 yesterday, 2 large glasses of wine and a gluten free beer this evening. Which means little when combined with the quorn sausages I'm about to eat, cos they have wheat, gluten, milk, yada yada, bah humbug, meh.

Also? [livejournal.com profile] alasdair1076 is an amazing man, and I'm incredibly glad he's my best friend. And [livejournal.com profile] ravenlas is another even more amazing man, and I'm even more glad he's my husband. Count your blessings, guys! *gets string of beads* *starts counting*

I'm not well right now. It's annoying. I should be.

Should be.

That's my problem right there. I think I should be well. I don't think I should be ill any more. Nuh-uh. CFS? Should be in the past. I'm over it. Well, I'm ready to be over it.

But no. It rears its ugly head again - no matter that I'm fitter and healthier and largely staying away from wheat and dairy. But it's not as bad as it's been... Sorry, getting distracted by South Park's Lemmiwinks song...

Anyway. It occurs to me that part of the reason I'm unhappy about talking about this is because I see it as a justifiable punishment. For all of the times when I've been a bad friend, when I've not done things which need doing, for the times when I've procrastinated, deliberately not used my brain when I should, missed deadlines, skived, etc etc. So there you go. Part of me believes I deserve CFS for this.

And the rest of me knows better.

But still. Never mind, eh? So what brings this up? Well, I have a leg with hot joints, and I'm a little worried that maybe I should see a rheumatologist, given the close association between CFS, ME and auto-immune diseases. And I can't quite get around to making an appointment with my GP, because most of me thinks I'm delusional. And I deserve it. Also, I still have breakthrough bleeding, from stressing my core muscles, with my IUD. So. I need to make an appointment with my GP and with family planning. What appointments are you not making? What dumb-ass reasons do you have in the back of your head? I'll call if you will...
ellenscult: (bunk)
Dropping out of sight... )
ellenscult: (fist of doom)
Today is the 10th of September, 2008. 10/09/08. *grin* This makes me happy.

Also today, I have: put on a load of washing, emptied the dishwasher, boiled my rings (just to be safe) and posted yesterday's post to LJ. Also cycled to the station, got cards for friends and family birthdays and an anniversary. And worked more on Squirrels. Torchwood was apparently on the radio this afternoon, probably Radio 4, so I'll have to have a nosey on listen again.

And I am, tentatively, un-f-locking my LJ. I'm fed up of having it locked down. We'll see how it goes...

ETA: Had a slow evening, slept on the train home. [livejournal.com profile] ravenlas came home via the Chinese. Hurrah!

Exercise: 4 miles on the bike. Weight: 150lbs. Alcohol: 0.
ellenscult: (Casey)
Today I started work on Squirrels In Space again. I intend to finish it by the end of the month. Edited. Done. It should be do-able. I have hope. I wrote a synopsis and analysed character threads. And I wrote another 500 words of Shed World. Not actually Shed World, but the shared world project that the writing group is doing. And I proofread a pile of things for Hub.

I need to do some work for work, yanno...

Also, I went to Asda, put on washing, put out washing, brought in washing, hung up washing, made lamb casserole. Well, stew, since there was too much to put in my casserole dish in the oven, and I have a bigger pan. And stir fry, so there was something to eat tonight.

I call today a win, mostly.

I have a bit of a rash on my ring finger. Allegedly, boiling my rings in a 2/1 vinegar/hydrogen peroxide solution for 15 minutes will kill anything on them. And so I wait for the rash to clear up so that I can wear my beautiful rings again.

This month is my writing month. At points I am going to become extremely anti-social, and possibly even rude and grumpy. So this is my apology before-hand: it's nothing personal. But I have to work, now, and it is going to eat my head, and then (as one of my friends said about extreme babysitting) I will lose all my social. Sorry. I still love you all.

Oh, and I can tell it's back-to-school today. Films this evening? Slither, Gattaca, White Noise 1. A programme on Wahabism. Very end-of-the-world...

Edit: Weight: 153.5 lbs. Exercise: 4 miles on the bike, 5 km on the cross-trainer. Alcohol: 0. I put a mini bottle of red wine in with the lamb, but we haven't eaten that yet. And all the alcohol will long have boiled off anyway.
ellenscult: (devilish)
Gosh, doesn't time fly?

This was my year: )
ellenscult: (too pretty)
I've had a long a difficult day.

Well, when I say long, I mean I rolled up at 10.05 for work (courtesy of points failure), went out at 12:20 for lunch (to give blood), got back at 1:50 (because it just takes that long, okay?), and left at 3:30 (to go pick up the car from the garage).

So not long and difficult at all.

Of course, there's the small matter of the 76 quid for replacing part of the car's exhaust. Meh. But for now, I'm chilling out with a glass of wine and my friends who may get around to D&D-ing any minute now.

Tomorrow, I move stuff back out of storage. And call the estate agent to take the house off the market. And go round next door to let them know and take back all the boxes of books. So tomorrow will be busy.

Just to note: the week before last, I cycled 28 miles, swam 125 lengths, went bouldering and skiing. Last week, I cycled ooh, some miles that was over 27 and less than 50, and I can't remember. This week, I've cycled 40 miles. I had 2 weeks of not drinking alcohol, and (with the exception of last weekend when [livejournal.com profile] ravenlas's brother came to visit), watched my diet. My weight's not shifted at all. I'm a tad disgruntled! Ho hum, never mind. I'm still amazing. *heh*

I've reworked 2 stories, though, and knitted a sock. Ooh, finally, D&D action! Must go blow things up...

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